October, November, December

I was always skeptical of the science behind Global Warming. It seems that the same data is used for arguments both for and against the existance of Global Warming. I don't need science to know that we're affecting the enviroment; take America where the common household has more than one car, atleast two, and to bring it down to a more specific level take Texas, where people LOVE big trucks with low fuel mileage. Now on Monday the weather is hot, I know just how hot the weather is due to Track everyday. I ran and it was moist and hot, the sun was beating down, it seemed Winter would never come. Tuesday it was FREEZING outside, there was not one cloud in the sky, did I mention how cold it was? Today, Wednesday, there was frost covering the lawn in the morning... now this is a very dramatic change in Tempurature no doubt, in a state with a high carbon emissions from big trucks, very little recycling, and a general disbelief of Global Warming.. and we're seeing this drastic weather change... hmmmmmmmmmm... At this point its not about the science anymore, its just a matter of looking around, connecting the dots, and getting off your arse and doing something.

The passage of time

I have been off drugs, alcohol, and caffeine for quite some time now. It wasn't very hard, I find with anything I don't really get hooked to it, or addicted. I keep doing something because I like it, as soon as I want to advert my attention its literally a snap. It helps me in relationships (to an extent), it has helped me with my battle against cigarettes, drugs, alcohol, and a destructive lifestyle in general. With all these toxins out of my body, I finally had the chance to sit down and think. I thought... goodness... I am getting old. Everyone is getting old. What the hell do I want to do with my life?

I still haven't come up with the important answer to the important question. This worries me greatly. Soon I am going to see Slayer, Megadeth and Anthrax in concert, and in preparation I watched their Sonisphere concert in Sofia Bulgaria. Seeing them perform, I said to myself, I want to do that. But I am conflicted. I am not that great at guitar playings, I used to consider myself good at the drums but I haven't touched them in ages, and at best I'm a decent song writer. It is tough work, and how many countless lowlifes in bands are there in the world? I don't want to be one of those.

The other dream of mine was to be a scriptwriter. Even though I throughly enjoyed writing scripts for theatre, a few problems arouse. I discovered that I cannot be a conventional scriptwriter, No i Must be a script writer/ director. And even though being a director came frighteningly natural to me, the experience was stressful. As a scriptwriter/director I was looking at a life of stress, especially after watching What just Happened, I do not want a stress filled life. Also I discovered that the stereotypical broadway type weirdo actor and cast and crew person exists; The only way I could do this is if I matt damon ben affleck it. Which would mean write an awesome script, make an awesome movie, and there we go I'm famous yay thank you I accept the Oscar for being bloody brilliant. Unfortunatly I do not think I could ever amount to such brilliance, and just like with the band dream, how many desperate script writers are there in the world? It is a touch industry to break into, music and film.

Even though I might find the strength to pursue my dream eventually, at the moment I am at a loss. At this moment exactly I am at a loss of said strength.

I really hope I find it...

Practica de Espanol wey

Hola, mi Nombre es Felipe. Aunque naci en Chile, empece mi educacion en Ingla terra, entonces la idea del igles de ser mi primer idioma no es demasiado absurdo. En realidad el espanol se ha convierto en mi lenguaje segundaria, y el primer pedaso de evidencia que muestra esto son mis dedos mientras escribo esta entrada ahora. En ingles, mis dedos vuelan por el teclado, es incredible pensar que en mis primeros anos en la escuela, cuando tuviamos clases de tipiar, no era tan bueno. En realidad fue mucho suerte que esa clase fue algo al lado aunque lo hiciamos mucho. Y ahora en comparacion a mis companieros, tipeo mucho mas rapido que ellos.

La otra cosa que encuentro mientras escribo, es mi vocabulario. En ingles mi escritura no es TAN complejo, pero igual siento que estas palabras en espanol falta el caracter y el voz que se encuentra en mi literatura.

Muchas personas creen que me da lastima de mudarme desde ingla terra, y de perder mi accento britanico. La mayorida de las mujeres importantes que he conosido odian ese acento, entonces a mi no me da mucha lastima. Pero eso no semefica que estoy contento con el acento que llevo ahora, al contrario. El acento Chileno, creo yo, es el acento mas divertido y 'cool-isimo' que he escuchado en mi vida. El unico acento que es tan entretenido como el acento Chileno, es el acento Brazileno. La unica problema con ese acento es los hombres suenan como vagos, pero las mujeres demasiado sensual, no tiene una balancia. El Chileno siempre suena bueno, me encanta estar afuera en Chile solo por ese razon. La gente es lo que echo de menos cada vez que bordo ese avion devuelto a Egipto, o ahora a los Estados Unidos.

Shinanigans

Closure is quite an amazing thing. When I was little back in the U.K., my mum would take me to Blockbuster to get a movie on our way home from school or the groceries. There was always an image that intrigued me, a movie with such a unique poster that I would always rush to stare at that rather than the Porn selection of Blockbuster that people 'accidentally' run into. That image of course is the one above, of the movie: Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. Some 10 years later, I finally watch that movie with my fellow band mate (more on that later), and by god was it amazing. I had watched another movie, 12 monkeys, with my dad a couple weeks before, And i thought that was phenomenal. This movie was no different from the same director (from Monty Python! orgasm in my mind).

I learnt something about myself today, that I do not work well under a deadline. And by golly is it good to have absolutely nothing else due for tomorrow at 10 pm. I will definetly keep this up for the rest of life. But yes, my dream at script writing is in peril with this new found fact. You cannot force creativity, and deadlines are destined to be my worst enemy, as they already are for many many writers out there. I also found something else about myself today, that I may not be very much in control of myself as I thought. It might be the drugs, as I've delve into weed lately. I must stay off of weed for three reasons 1) I get a better high from excersize 2) I will get really fat because I get munchies like a motherfucker 3) Its bad for my lungs, and I felt it. Today we did 150 proper squats, 75 supermans, and 150 yards of walk lunges, and it was a way better feeling than getting high. Perhaps the weed was not that good, or that I'm not usually one to be that persistent during excersize, but it felt good. It would have been better without the lungs slowing me down, but thats life. Life is a bitch.

I have formed another band, called Get Koala or Die. It is an inside joke i might explain some other day, its rather silly really, but it a short sweet name that explains our humor and our badassery musically. We will be more badass as soon as our drummer gets a proper double pedal, but nothing is too far on the horizon.

Quick thought

It has been a while since this has happened, this being the blog, and the happening being the rare occurrence of me writing on it...weeee. This rare occurrence, though, is going to have to happen much more often than it has in the past, because I am heading into a new course in my life.
I am actually battling procrastination, and at 10:10 pm it seems to be a battle that I am winning. Next weekend I plan to do half my homework on a saturday, rather than all of it on sunday. Hopefully with the passing of time, I will be doing almost all of my homework after school Friday, and finishing up that thing or two on saturday, and then free to be a bum and bum around (no homo) all sunday evening.
Without sounding too full of myself...well there isn't really a way I can NOT sound that way in the short time that I have right now, but basically I have always known that among all my faults, writing has always been a talent for me. Since I was little, I have always had a perfect score in voice grade, and later on in life I have always made little sketches or plays or skits with probably little depth but amazing voice work, and humour.
After a brief talk with my Theatre teachers, I have been advised to simply write. This will help me achieve my current goal of getting into scriptwriting as a profession. It is something I always enjoy doing, and which I thrive at. Now my scriptwriting is definetly not perfect, this is due to my procrastination. But considering how they have always been written at the last minute, they are simply masterpieces of the procrastinator.
If I am somehow able to overcome this ignominious habit, I can see how good I actually am at scriptwriting, and pursue that for the rest of my life.
As for my previous interest, Video Game designer, turns out M.I.T. (yes THE M.I.T.) is offering video game courses, which has finally made my parents approve of this path. My ultimate dream job would be a video game writer/designer, but my theatre teacher has opened my eyes to Hollywood, stating that with just one masterpiece, i can Ben Affleck/Matt Damon my way into Hollywood.
I have not reached this split path yet, one cannot advance in the midst of a battle (fuck you procrastination), but it is a decision that is going to come up, and I will weigh the options and ultimately choose my path in the near future. Time has a knack of flying by, so it may seem like yesterday that I wrote this, then it will seem like yesterday that I made my decision, then it will seem like yesterday when I made it...or failed.
One last thought, without being Emo or suicidal or depressed, I have come to the understanding that I am going to die, and it is quite a relief. Of course I'm not looking for death in all directions, all that has happened is I am not wasting time with things, and moving on quickly because Life is short. Although i still wonder, if I have really accepted death as the finish line, if a mugger points a gun to my head that I will not cry and beg for my life, if I am driving and fall into a lake that I will not panic because I really do not fear death. I have also not accepted that there is a heaven, or a hell. There is no where, and we go there, we go nowhere. Now you can divert your attention elsewhere because i am done with these thoughts which where playing in my mind as if in a fair. A hectic one, like in Brazil...crazy.